I'm trying. Can't you understand that? Can't you understand that this is incredibly hard for me? I try not to talk about it but I've lost sleep over this. I lose my appetite on the worst days. I'm falling apart.
So I took an opportunity to call you about something. No, it wasn't entirely about that. I wanted to talk to you, to hear your voice. But you answered so coldly, almost angrily. So much for something to cheer me up a bit.
Can't you understand? I just wanted something to smile about, something to feel happy about. I trudge through every day, barely touched by my surroundings. The smiles and laughter I muster just come from the surface, not the heart. I'm not happy. I called you so that maybe I could be happy about something, even just for one night.
I'm broken, Hannah.
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