Vehemence

You ever been on a roller coaster? Isn't it awesome? All the rises and falls, the loops and spirals, the negative and positive gravitational forces. All together, they make such an enjoyable experience that can be had over and over again and will never get old.

The roller coaster of life, however, is not such an enjoyable experience. The rises and falls of emotion, the loops and spirals of experience, the negative and positive gravitational forces of... Okay, the metaphor gets sketchy there, but you get my point.

Unfortunately for me, I'm overly emotional. A single day can hold a plethora of emotional rises and falls.

A single word can turn bliss into despair.

A single glance can turn torment into serenity.

A single action can turn the absence of feeling into a myriad of sensation.

It's emotionally exhausting. And when the day fails to close on a high note, it can be crushing.

But being the roller coasters that they are, my days can sometimes surprise me. And today was one of those.

A surprise.

There are too many details to list now but I'll give you one.

Every year, my friend and I bet on the Super Bowl. I let her pick a team and I take the other. The loser buys lunch for the winner the following week. We've been doing this for three years. I'm 0 for 3. I don't care. I love it.

The past few months have been... rocky between this friend and I. I have done things in my life that will shame me to my grave and those actions have hurt many of the people I love and my relationships with them. She is no different.

But a couple weeks ago, as I said hello to her, I mentioned that the super bowl was coming up. She actually perked up and sounded halfway excited about our bet.

Today, we talked more about it and she was happy and excited and amazing. The friend I've always loved. We joked and laughed and poked fun of each other, just like we used to. It was... Happiness.

No.

Not happiness.

Elation.

I love her so much. She's never been anything but a friend to me. What have I been to her?

Anyway, I'm way off track. I guess what I'm saying is that while this roller coaster I'm on is a horrible, exhausting, painful experience, it occasionally leaves me with a smile on my face.

And if it's a smile for the right person, it makes all the pain completely worth it.

And today, the smile left on my face was for the right person.

So worth it.