Will you miss me when I'm gone? Will you even care? Someday, I'm not going to be here anymore. I'm not going to set up the mics for practice, I'm not going to stay late after everyone's left to make sure that everything gets put away, I'm not going to be there to do the little things that no one notices until they're not done. I'm not going to be here.
Do you even miss me now? Remember the friends we once were? Remember the love between us? I know I screwed up bad but doesn't that count for something? I guess not.
I can't blame you or hold any of it against you. I deserve nothing but the hatred of every person I've ever loved. Hell, in some twisted way, I want it. Anything less feels like I'm getting off easy, which I totally am. You'd be the first to tell me that if you could.
I wish we had never been the close friends we were. That way, this wouldn't be tearing my heart in two. I wouldn't feel immobilized by fear when you walk into the room, even though I would be so sad if you didn't show up. My heart wouldn't skip a beat every time you look me in the eye.
I wish this were some simple crush that could be gotten over with time and space, but it's not. You were more than a crush. You were more than family. You were a friend. A true friend, in the deepest of meanings. The only one of those I've ever really had.
Even when I'm looking right at you I've never been further from you. You're gone and I miss you. Do you miss me? Did you at all?
For what it's worth, I'd still give my life for yours.
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