A realisation. I have come to realise that all the fake smiles and forced laughter is starting to wear me down. I am no longer happy. Sorrow creeps through the cracks of my too often broken heart and drips down into my soul. Tears too often shed come so easily now. My days are filled with utter sadness and my nights with crushing loneliness. Is there no end to this misery? No cure?
You push me away. You pretend like everything is like it once was, but I see through the veil of your smile. You pretend like I never meant anything to you. Like I never caused uncontrollable smiles to crease your face for entire days at a time. Like you never said to me, "I'm glad you came". Like nothing I did mattered.
I don't know what to do. I've done everything I can to show you what you mean to me and I'll keep trying. And no matter what happens, I will always want you in my life. That's a near unconditional promise. But maybe this is one of those "you don't know what you until it's gone" kind of situations. If/when you cut me out, maybe you'll realise what you lost.
Maybe.
Though you may not be anymore, I am still glad you came, you still take the breath right out of me, and it's still fine by me if you never leave.
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