Montana

It coils around my throat. It pours into my lungs. I gasp for air. I find nothing. Panic sets in. I writhe in agony, flailing out at you with tear-filled eyes. I see pain in your face, but you turn away, unable to help me. Panic turns cold as I realise there is no one who can help me. It presses against me from every direction. It's everywhere. It taunts me with thoughts of you. I feel you touch my skin. I smell you on my clothes. I taste you on my lips. Your words echo through my head. Your face fills my vision. Beside you I am helpless to act. What was once as natural as breathing has been ripped from my hands, stolen from me before I could have possibly had my fill. Now I am alone, drowning in a sea of sorrow, isolated from all traces of warmth, happiness and love. It floods me with cold familiarity, but I struggle on. Hard facts don't stand a chance against the kind of hope I have for a future with you.Hope that keeps me going. It will probably kill me in the end, but for now, it's all I have to stand on.

Struggle

You take the breath right out of me. You left a hole where my heart should be.

Excerpt from Breath by Breaking Benjamin

Pumpkin

"I can smell you on my clothes." "I can taste you on my lips."

I always thought those were figures of speech. Lines used in songs to show meaning or add impact. That was, until I met you. Until I held you in my arms. Until I kissed you.

I drove around for an hour today, your scent filling my lungs, your taste gliding across my tongue. I couldn't escape you. Windows down, pedal to the floor, nothing would get rid of you. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I let the wind fill my ears and I shut off my music. It was distracting me anyway. I want nothing to take away from my thoughts of you. You assault my senses. I smell you, taste you. Hear you whisper in my ear, feel you pressed against my chest. I see your eyes staring into mine.

Goosebumps.

When I will get to see you again, I don't know. But as they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder", and you have been absent for far too long.

Matter of Fact

Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds
Dreaming aloud
Things just won't do without you
Matter of fact
I'm on your back


If you'd accept surrender
I'll give up some more
Weren't you adored
I cannot be without you
Matter of fact
I'm on your back


If you walk out on me
I'm walking after you


Another heart is cracked in two
I'm on your back


I cannot be without you
Matter of fact
I'm on your back


If you walk out on me
I'm walking after you


Walking After You by the Foo Fighters

I Have No Words to Speak

I awoke, only to find my lungs empty
Through the night, so it seems I'm not breathing
And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be
And I'm breaking down
I think I'm breaking down

And I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me
Such as living with the uncertainties
That I'll never find the words to say
Which would completely explain
Just how I'm breaking down

Someone come, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead
But now its like the night is taking up sides
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be? This misery will suffice

I've become, the simple souvenir of someone's kill
Like the sea, I'm constantly changing from calm to ill
Madness fills my heart and soul
As if the great divide could swallow me whole
Oh, how I'm breaking down

Someone come, someone come and save my life
Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead
But now its like the night is taking up sides
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind
Could it be? This misery will suffice


Sleeping Sickness by City & Colour ft. Gordon Downie

Sharing

Just thought I'd share this hilarious post with a sweet, unexpected ending. Enjoy. :)

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For A Change

I read the hurt between your words. Hear the brokenness in your voice. See the pain behind your eyes. My heart aches to make it go away, to make you whole again. If I could take your pain, your sorrow, take it all onto myself, I would do it without a moment's hesitation. To see you smile and know it isn't forced would be worth all the pain in the world.

But that's not something I can do for you. Not if you don't let me. With a heavy heart you rejected me. Blinded by emotion, I lashed out, made things harder than they already were. Classic me. But how could I hold it against you? You were right all along. It brought us both to tears, but you did the right thing where I did not.

But I still see that pain and if it makes me want to break down just at the sight of it, how strong are you to stand up to it? How can you act like nothing's wrong when you should want to hold your head in your hands? You are so strong.

Hold on, my dear friend. This too shall pass.